philophobic

gue nggak tau sejujur2nya apa yang membuat gue jadi kayak gini lagi.. terseret lagi dalam pusaran ini.. sesungguhnya gue udah ngerti banget soal perasaan ini, perasaan ingin memiliki dan dimiliki, yang tidaklah seharusnya berada di hati ini. sometimes i HATE this feeling, it feels like HELL inside.. Gosh, i don't know how to act and react to get through all of these feelings, hmm.. Sometimes i think, am I philophobic becoz of him??? i don't wanna be one, but seems like everything shows me that I AM PHILOPHOBIC.. it's just so not me, remembering i have lots of boy friends (but not BFs..)

hmmmphhh, i still dont know what exactly i'm feeling inside..? why should all this happening to me? i'm still a normal girl with a normal wish, a wish about loving and being loved... tiap kali gue liat foto mereka berdua, it's like a real pain in the ass tho'!!! tapi mau ngga mau yah gue sih trima2 aja.. but i'm kinda afraid of falling in love again, it really tears me into pieces.. and so hard to get it back again...