It's not a denial..

Living miles away from someone we love, can be a lot of trouble if we weren't prepared..
I guessed I was well-prepared,, but I realized I weren't.. All of my experiences dealing with this particular phrase have all gone wrong, miserable, and totally useless to my situation I'm in right now. All of my efforts seem to have no progress and it feels like I need to cope as soon as possible, just to make everything go back to its track. Well I'm a kind of person who can't literally speak up about my feelings when I'm on the phone. I guess I'm a freak when it comes to feelings. I had this sort of routines that I usually do to make people think that I'm strong enough to live without them, I don't do much conversations and chit-chats with them. Because the more I heard their voices, the more I miss them, and the more I can't stand to live alone, miles away from them.
This is how I survived my past 6 years at Manado, and now I hate to say it, but I must, try to do it here in Jakarta. But I don't think that this is a right decision to make, and I think I just can't stand it no more. I hate to say it, but I did cry in the nights, just to let it all out and I can speak again on the phone. And so it happens to be lots of "uuuummm.." In my calls. And I hate that.. I just feel totally bad about it.. Uuummmmm... It feels like I can't say what I wanted to say, just like something stucked in my mouth and won't come out.
I don't wanna deny that maybe I'm just running away from the truth.. But the truth is I miss you so much that I can't tell.. I miss you so bad that even hearing your voice will make me cry.. I need you badly here.. I love you..
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Miss you, love you

When I first thought about missing you, I was trying to deny it. I don't wanna fall in love with you, @ that moment.
I don't wanna tell you I missed you, because I didn't have the right to tell you, but for some nights, I did miSs you.
I was taught to be a strong woman, I was told to be tough, I was told to be independent. Thus I never showed you how bad I needed you.
I never wanted to tell you I missed you, because for me it was the other way to say I love you, and I didn't want you to know that I was in love with you..
But now, I don't care.. I'm gonna tell the world I miss you so bad.. I neVer missed someone like this before. I miss you my halflife.. I love you..
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homesick is over

Semenjak di rumah, jadi malas menulis nihh.. Maunya jalaaann ajaa.. hahahaaaa.. dasar wanitaa... But anyway.. I feel lots of miracles happening lately.. THanks God for every beautiful plan You've made for me.. Pelantikan dokter, lulus UKDI, bisa bobo di rumahh.. Ahhh,,, whatta day!!!

I Need You Now

I Need You Now -- Lady Antebellum

Picture perfect memories scattered all around the floor
Reachin for the phone cause I can't fight it anymore
And I wonder if I ever crossed your mind
For me it happens all the time

It's a quarter after one, I'm all alone and I need you now
Said I wouldn't call but I lost all control and I need you now
And I don't know how I can do without
I just need you now


Another shot of whiskey can't stop looking at the door
Wishing you'd come sweeping in the way you did before
And I wonder if I ever cross your mind
For me it happens all the time

It's a quarter after one, I'm a little drunk and I need you now
Said I wouldn't call but I lost all control and I need you now
And I don't know how I can do without
I just need you now

Guess I'd rather hurt than feel nothin at all

It's a quarter after one I'm all alone and I need you now

And I said I wouldn't call but I'm a little drunk and I need you now

And I don't know how I can do without

I just need you now

I just need you now

Ooo, baby, I need you now

[Need You Now Lyrics On http://www.elyricsworld.com/ ]
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