Dear Lord,
I'm thankful for everything Thy hath given me
Thanks for every opportunity Thy hath provided
Every blessings Thy hath given to me and our family..
Teach us everyday to be thankful for everything that has been going on
For the good and bad times,
The smile and sorrow,
I know Thy path is way beyond our human logic mind..
Dear Lord,
So many things going on inside my mind right now
Sometimes I just feel like giving up
I just feel this burden is too heavy
I want to live, catch my dreams, and make myself happy
But inside, even the happiest moment aches me
I know I can't grab every moment,
I can't make everybody happy,
And I have to make my priorities in life
Forgive me Lord, for I have doubt the path Thy hath created for me
I know I'm stubborn, and I usually decide everything without asking
Even though I know what's right for me is not always what Thy have planned me to
Forgive me oh Lord..
Now let Thy will be unto me
Teach me to accept everything Thy hath planned for my life
Because everything Thy hath planned is beautiful
Amen.
~•¤ kinaShe ¤•~
Wednesday, October 19, 2011
Tuesday, September 20, 2011
My First Love
My first love,
Written on the darkest pages of my diary,
The one that brought me more tears than laughters,
Frowns than happy faces,
And pain instead of joy..
My first love,
The one that chilled me with the cute face of his,
Spoiling me with all of his kindness,
Cuddled me with his warmth and so called love,
Finally, tearing me down inside out
My first love,
The one that made me walk outside the line,
The one that pushed me to choose between besties and lover,
The one that finally walked out and moved on,
Leaving me in pain and sorrow
My first love,
Strangers at first gaze,
A real angel of mine,
Transformed into such best enemy of mine,
Yet still the very best friend of mine..
*you never know how a single word can turn your life upside down*
~•¤ kinaShe ¤•~
Written on the darkest pages of my diary,
The one that brought me more tears than laughters,
Frowns than happy faces,
And pain instead of joy..
My first love,
The one that chilled me with the cute face of his,
Spoiling me with all of his kindness,
Cuddled me with his warmth and so called love,
Finally, tearing me down inside out
My first love,
The one that made me walk outside the line,
The one that pushed me to choose between besties and lover,
The one that finally walked out and moved on,
Leaving me in pain and sorrow
My first love,
Strangers at first gaze,
A real angel of mine,
Transformed into such best enemy of mine,
Yet still the very best friend of mine..
*you never know how a single word can turn your life upside down*
~•¤ kinaShe ¤•~
Monday, July 25, 2011
Hard to say GOODBYE
In this very recent weeks, I've had such a hard life *not literally*.
I've had to make a hard decision between my family or my so called career.
A lot of things became my considerations,
I shouldn't be selfish, I have to think about my family and my family to be, without hurting myself and my friends on the jobsite.
But,, after a few long talks and a few weeks living my life here again, with my family, I realized that there will always a sacrifice to make in order to live this kind of life.
I realized that my family need me the most this time, that's why I made a decision not to go back to the jobsite.
For me, my family is everything.. It is the most important thing in my life, and it's worth a whole lot more than my salary and my friends plus foes in the jobsite.
Yes, this is a high road that I'm taking, but this is the life I've chosen.
Goodbye all doctors, GPs, nurses, admins, and everyone on the ISOS FMI jobsite of Tembagapura, Banti, KKC, and everyone from Grasberg to portsite.
Please be better without me, grow much more, and please don't make backstabbing your friends as a habit.
God bless us all
~•¤ kinaShe ¤•~
I've had to make a hard decision between my family or my so called career.
A lot of things became my considerations,
I shouldn't be selfish, I have to think about my family and my family to be, without hurting myself and my friends on the jobsite.
But,, after a few long talks and a few weeks living my life here again, with my family, I realized that there will always a sacrifice to make in order to live this kind of life.
I realized that my family need me the most this time, that's why I made a decision not to go back to the jobsite.
For me, my family is everything.. It is the most important thing in my life, and it's worth a whole lot more than my salary and my friends plus foes in the jobsite.
Yes, this is a high road that I'm taking, but this is the life I've chosen.
Goodbye all doctors, GPs, nurses, admins, and everyone on the ISOS FMI jobsite of Tembagapura, Banti, KKC, and everyone from Grasberg to portsite.
Please be better without me, grow much more, and please don't make backstabbing your friends as a habit.
God bless us all
~•¤ kinaShe ¤•~
Thursday, June 30, 2011
Silent Contemplation
Sebuah status BBM membuatku terhenyak dalam gelapnya malam
Isi status itu: apakah yang kita dapat di site sebanding dengan yang kita tinggalkan di rumah?
Di tengah kepanikan dan doa yang tak putus kupanjatkan demi kesehatan papa,
Muncul sepenggal kalimat yang membuat diri tertegun dalam kebisuan malam
Air mata jatuh perlahan, membasahi pipi yang belum tersentuh sejuknya air sejak pagi
Dinding beku hati ini hancur juga membaca kalimat itu
Terkadang, kenyamanan di jobsite membuai berlebihan
Walau kadang jiwa ini jengah menghadapi tumpukan pekerjaan dan ketidakadilan
*menarik napas panjang*
Sekarang aku baru mnegerti penggalan kalimat yang dulu diucap seniorku
..Susah dek, kalo kebutuhan sudah bertentangan dengan hati nurani. Kita harus berani memilih..
Ku akui, aku ada disini karena aku cari uang, untuk sekolahku nanti
Tapi kalau harus begini terus,
Semakin hari semakin kusadari bahwa yang kudapati disini tidak sebanding dengan yang kutinggalkan di sana
Aku pun harus memilih
Mana yang akan kupilih???
Hanya Tuhan yang kan beri ku jawabnya…
Warm Regards,
Shekina Rondonuwu
GP AEA - ISOS
Tembagapura, Papua
Wednesday, June 08, 2011
Same Jay.Kay
Back in here, in the same crossroads I've been a few years ago.
A place with no corner to hide, no fence to cover, and no onw to cry on.
I've done wrong, I should be able to resist, but I just didn't do that.. Da*ned!!!
I just hate to say this, but I need my old fellas again.
I need them who can drag me out of this misery.
Well, I may be selfish and I know I'm not that beautiful,
but why this situation keep repeating itself again and again??
Oh Lord, help me,, strengthen me..
I just don't want to hurt anyone...
Just let we all be the same way we are..
Like the famous last words,nothing you could say can stop me going home..
A place with no corner to hide, no fence to cover, and no onw to cry on.
I've done wrong, I should be able to resist, but I just didn't do that.. Da*ned!!!
I just hate to say this, but I need my old fellas again.
I need them who can drag me out of this misery.
Well, I may be selfish and I know I'm not that beautiful,
but why this situation keep repeating itself again and again??
Oh Lord, help me,, strengthen me..
I just don't want to hurt anyone...
Just let we all be the same way we are..
Like the famous last words,nothing you could say can stop me going home..
Saturday, June 04, 2011
Moving On
The hardest thing to do after only a few months knowing you guys,
Is when I have to step my feet on the chopper,
and realized that I might not be able to see you again back there.
Crying because of a farewell is a very childish act, so I chose only to reminisce
Reminiscing those days we've had, the crazy times we've shared
The golden days when we still have each other by our sides,
Knowing that there will be shoulders to cry on, and warm hands to hug and comforting us
But now, there is none..
I have to get back and stand on my feet again,
Forgetting you and our memory will never do
That's why I have to move on.. Even though so hard,
and I'm not sure I could.. but I will try,,
to MOVE ON...
Is when I have to step my feet on the chopper,
and realized that I might not be able to see you again back there.
Crying because of a farewell is a very childish act, so I chose only to reminisce
Reminiscing those days we've had, the crazy times we've shared
The golden days when we still have each other by our sides,
Knowing that there will be shoulders to cry on, and warm hands to hug and comforting us
But now, there is none..
I have to get back and stand on my feet again,
Forgetting you and our memory will never do
That's why I have to move on.. Even though so hard,
and I'm not sure I could.. but I will try,,
to MOVE ON...
Friday, May 06, 2011
Wednesday, March 02, 2011
Something in My Mind...
In these recent days, there's always something hanging inside my mind, A LOT of things.. Maybe the Lord and me are the only ones who know how much... In my old days, when my mind's got a little too much of trouble, I would have gone back to my drinking and clubbing world. Those bottles of Jacks and tequilas were my very sweet escape back in those days. But now, as I grow older, I know that The Lord is my only rock and fortress, so I just need to run to HIM because I know that everything is gonna be okay.
Lord, I know I've made a lot of mistakes, I just still can't believe that I will be put in this kind of situation ever again. I've been on crossroads dozen of times, and I felt like the options I've made and the path I chose were not the best. This is even a bigger decision for me to make Lord, I need YOUR guidance the most to decide the path YOU have provided for me. I can't sleep nicely tonight, that's why I decided to write my feelings. God, I believe that whatever the result of the interview I'm gonna have this morning, Thy words that happened to me and I believe it is the best from YOU. Amen.
Lord, I know I've made a lot of mistakes, I just still can't believe that I will be put in this kind of situation ever again. I've been on crossroads dozen of times, and I felt like the options I've made and the path I chose were not the best. This is even a bigger decision for me to make Lord, I need YOUR guidance the most to decide the path YOU have provided for me. I can't sleep nicely tonight, that's why I decided to write my feelings. God, I believe that whatever the result of the interview I'm gonna have this morning, Thy words that happened to me and I believe it is the best from YOU. Amen.
Thursday, February 10, 2011
It's 2011
Well,,well.. Never thought that this is my 1st post in 2011. The whole new year with a fully charged positive spirit inside of me after all of a sudden breakdown my family had faced last year. My daddy was hospitalized twice after a stroke re-attack. My world was torn into pieces at that moment, because I've had a lot of things in mind that I really wanted to accomplish, but I just realized I couldn't because I need to put my dad's health first. I have to admit that a rehabilitation period is totally no fun at all. My dad's fighting spirit were totally fell onto the ground after a few days of rehab, but I know my daddy can make it!!
After my daddy went home, basically I was the nurse+doctor+therapist, so there was no ME time.. But surely I learned a lot by being my dad's assistant.. Live and eat healthy is a MUST and it is one of my 2011 resolutions.. Yaaayyy!!
By the way, I haven't mentioned my New Year's resolutions (though it's already February) in this post, so there they are:
1. Start Fasting
2. Pray harder
3. Start exercising regularly
4. Start eating healthy
5. Go PTT (or find a settled job)
6. Get married
7. Stop wasting time
8. Make a weekly timetable
9. Learn more
10. Start cooking n cleaning (doing a wife's chores)
Well,, those are my 10 resolutions for 2011, and by the grace of God, I've been doing that number 1-4,7, and still praying for 5-6, the others are done but still a mess.. (–˛ — º)
-kinashe-
After my daddy went home, basically I was the nurse+doctor+therapist, so there was no ME time.. But surely I learned a lot by being my dad's assistant.. Live and eat healthy is a MUST and it is one of my 2011 resolutions.. Yaaayyy!!
By the way, I haven't mentioned my New Year's resolutions (though it's already February) in this post, so there they are:
1. Start Fasting
2. Pray harder
3. Start exercising regularly
4. Start eating healthy
5. Go PTT (or find a settled job)
6. Get married
7. Stop wasting time
8. Make a weekly timetable
9. Learn more
10. Start cooking n cleaning (doing a wife's chores)
Well,, those are my 10 resolutions for 2011, and by the grace of God, I've been doing that number 1-4,7, and still praying for 5-6, the others are done but still a mess.. (–˛ — º)
-kinashe-
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